People you may know and dislike...

I say this openly, because dislike isn't as strong of a word as hate. I cannot speak for everyone but I know for myself; as of late, I've had this strong wave of passion towards those I dislike. See for the past 8 months I've done quite an impressive job combating my evil thoughts towards those I dislike, with blessings. For example, the people who do not say 'thank you' when I hold the door for them. I think "I hope they learn manners", opposed to thinking "Wow that lady is a real rude-@$$" (pardon my french). Or the old couple I waited on last week telling me "Your tattoos make you unlady like, how will you ever get married..." and continuing on bashing, or rather out right judging me. Instead of saying can you hurry up and eat before you hit 100 ya old jerk, I said "that may be your opinion but times are uh changin'". I can just feel my energy slowly creeping from being full of kindness to being full of apathy and minor disgust for those around. Sometimes feeling as though even my own friends may be just another ungrateful woman I hold the door for, or that rude man judging me with each new piece of art I get on my body. I don't understand the logic, so maybe one day someone could help me to grasp these concepts I am missing out on.
What is so hard about being kind? Being unbiased? Being non judgmental? The only time people want to help or be grateful is when it is convenient or they can afford it. Why? Just like, why is the only reason we help during the holidays? The only time we treat someone nicely only on their Birthdays? The motivation we get from these events should resonate all year round, but for whatever reason....it doesn't. It is because at the core of every human, is greed....selfishness. Granted people do "good deeds" but I have realized it is not for the sake of doing the right thing, but rather for the feeling.
Though I am feeling unappreciated and under-rated...I will continue to be thankful, grateful, and humble most of all. I am happy to have survived another week, day, month, and hopefully year! I just needed to vent before I changed my mindset. Have a great Tuesday!

I rarely ever....

Post on here much anymore. I am unsure if it is due to lack of creative spark, or if it is just pure laziness. I will admit it may possibly be a tad bit of both. I just found some old notes I wrote to my future self (more or less a way of tracking my own progress). I found this to be one of my favorite pieces that I intend to illustrate and hang in my house.


10 things to do daily....


1.) Realize today is a new day, and ANYTHING is possible.

2.) Do some sort of exercise to stimulate the body.

3.) Have a peaceful moment, by yourself. In order to stimulate your mind. Read, meditate, write, etc.

4.) Go into the day KNOWING you do not KNOW everything, so you can learn something.

5.) Try to leave every person you meet a little happier, or at least; leave them with a smile:)

6.) Don't take everything SOOOO seriously!

7.)S L O W D O W N!

7.5.) You're far too impatient; give things time. "Rome wasn't built in a day."

8.) Enjoy music as much as possible. Even if just in your head.

9.) Appreciate what you have, even if life is not perfect. There are positive- GREAT things in your life, just look around.

10.) And always remember, you are only human. You will NEVER be perfect, but you will be exactly what you allow yourself to be!

For the record.

I think for once, I am going to write a post completely about how happy I am. Not because anything monumental happened; but because I realize life isn't about monumental. I've learned recently, contentment and settling are not the same thing. Also, just because you've accepted one doesn't mean the other walks hand in hand. Life is entirely what you choose to get out of it, nothing more....nothing less. How I feel right now, isn't hopelessness or impending doom. I feel confident and hopeful of whatever is to come in the next few weeks.

Kind is what kind does.

Recently I've moved back from Virgina. I can say life has been anything but easy on me. I could, well, I would usually say that if it's not one thing...it's another. I have let Michigan, or rather; northern mentality get the best of me. I have told several customers recently, just because it's cold, the weather sucks, and the economy as well. That doesn't mean we need to be unfriendly and unkind to one another. I don't think thats the person or mentality I wanna harbor anymore. In Virginia I was different...I had a renewed sense of hope in people. Happy people, create more happy people. I've learned in the two weeks of being "home" that I can either be completely miserable or I can do something about it. So by golly, I'm gonna do something about it! You are your only wall, your mind is the only thing stopping you from freeing yourself of every worry or bind you are in. Starting today, September 12th, I am going to do one random act of kindness a day. In addition to this random act of kindness I am going to try to be as positive as possible. My friend Megan said it best: It takes more energy to smile than it does to frown, and I ain't got much energy left. Today the universe restored faith in me, made me realize...lady luck just like people, might not always be on your side but all you really need is a good head on your shoulders and you can combat all the bad luck and bad people you encounter. Let everything be, the universe has got you fellow bloggers! Keep the good energy moving and have a great Monday!

Home is where the heart is, isn't it?

Today I was smoking a cigarette outside of the apartment complex I currently live in, I always find myself looking about aimlessly while doing so. My eyes caught the people who live across the way's door mat, which happened to read "There is no place like home". I shook my head because, when do you determine what is home? Here I am, about 700 miles from home, wondering to myself what constitutes a home? I would say without question, my home is in Michigan....however even when I think about that I feel confused, because how is Michigan my home when even my house there isn't mine. Then I ponder maybe my parent's house is home, wrong again; its no more my home than any of the other places I have stayed. So whats the answer? I think it is an open ended question, open to interpretation, open to debate, and open to whatever you really believe a home is. Maybe its 4 walls carefully molded together to protect the home maker. I know lately it feels like everywhere could be my home if I allow it to be, by this I mean just because a place is all you know and all you feel comfortable in; doesn't make it "home". So when people say home is where the heart is, my heart is in my body and wherever my body wanders...well anywhere should be home in that scenario!
I think Andrew Largeman got it best: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore all of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
I have no idea why, but I feel the same way he does, I have no idea where home is, nor any idea where I will plant my feet, a month from now. Let alone where I would call home. I guess I am my own home, I make up my own home "sweet" home.

People are never what you expect them to be.

This post is inspired by my new living style. Recently I moved to Virginia with my bestfriend and room mate Katherine Cervelli. We moved here with her sister Angela Cervelli who is a captain in the Army. At first I was more than excited, 50 days turned into 20 which turned into a week, and before you knew it we were driving cross state lines on a whim. We both (katherine and myself) up and quit our jobs, left our pets, left our house, everything behind just to start a new.
I won't bluff, I was a little nervous, new state, new living conditions. I barely know Angela, or the area at all. However, after about 5 days of being here I can say this is perfect. I'm probably the happiest I have ever been, though from time to time I miss certain things or people in Michigan....it doesn't phase me. I think the one thing I keep going back to in my head is the fact that it's so great because it's so vastly different from Michigan, mostly Downriver Michigan. People can say "everyone is the same everywhere you go" FALLACY! Not true! People here are different, and I've learned a lot of the people I thought I knew back home, I didn't. They held such high regards in my mind and now I look back and shake my head, I don't know if I want to come back....I'd be okay with making Virginia home.

I won't spare you

I've noticed most of my post are based off things I'm preaching about. I never really talk about myself, I mean I am sure there are a few post where I mention myself. However lately I have been trying to keep my opinion at bay, this being very difficult for me to do on a daily basis. I always thought that was an admiral quality, to be brutally honest with all those around you. Sometimes it bites you in the ass, but sometimes it makes people enjoy you more; at least, they know I will always tell them the "God honest truth". Most people tell me I should probably think before I speak, but I'm sorry I won't spare anyones feelings in a matter of opinion, I like to be real. Why do others think keeping every thought inside is healthy? I would much rather everyone be truthful to the point that I am with myself as well, but I guess it's something that is frowned upon. I just see it as me being me, why try and change my thought process to make society and those around me respectful of me? "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" I think thats how it goes right? Correct me if I'm wrong, haha. I won't spare you, No I won't spare you.

Take me to your super computer!

I can now mobile-blog, WHAAAAAT?! As if the internet and cellphones didn't make my life easier as is, (I reinstated my facebook already) but damn, mobile-blogging now too? DOWN! Probably as excited as I am because when I move I can just car blog, aka; the act of blogging while on a long car ride/ roadtrip. OH, I didn't tell my blog, I'm leaving in 36 days, give or take a day. I plan to move to Chester, Virginia with my roomie and bestfriend Katherine, or as you'll hear me refer to her as "Kiki". I was super excited, I mean actually I am still extremely excited, However; I will dearly miss quite a few people, but this is a vacation that not only have I been dreaming about and wanting desperately....but I need this vacation. I need a break away from all the hussle and bussle that is my life in Metro Detroit. I know people are the same everywhere, I know that I'm gonna get lonely, I know it's gonna be different, but who cares. I'm over others trying to change my mind on the matter, I have no idea how long I'll be gone for. For now, till July, possibly August. I just know the internet will make me feel a lot closer to those I love when I leave anyways. Hey, more time for me to blog and figure out some creative way of relating my ideas and sketches or just plain out figure out what I wanna do with the time I've been given.

A wise man once said...

"It is after all the greatest art to limit and isolate oneself."

So that is exactly what I am going to do. I just, literally, 5 minutes ago deleted my Facebook account and feel pretty good about it. I think i'll communicate my daily ideas on here. Who needs short status updates that do little but provoke me to insanity? I'm not sure why I even stuck with FB as long as I did, I guess it was an issue of entertainment, and then dependancy and now I just don't care anymore. I just don't care what the world has to say, nothing about facebook was beautiful or even slightly amusing to me. I guess creeping had become some sort of modern hobby. Either way, if I cannot change my world around me, I will cut it off from me. One step daily to a better, happier me. I can't change states now so everyday I'm gonna add one new thing to my daily routine or, change one habit for the better. Who knows what each day will bring? All that matters is every day is not the same.

DAY 1, deleted facebook profile; limit useless internet activities.