I'm a psycho, wooooah.

This post was prompted from my late night mind flow, which is actually just a highly creative nick name for insomnia. So lately I've been thinking, I need to create more ideas, which leads me to my new found idea...I want to give up on hate, saying it, using it, thinking it, anything having to do with it. So in this post I'm letting out all the hate I can think of and then no longer using the word and thus not giving the emotion a label, listen it's just a good idea. Now this list or rather rant, will be short, I'm sure I could sit and think for hours about what I "hate" but that feels like a pointless venture, so i'll keep it short and sweet.
Five things I absolutely HATE:
1) Ignorant people, people who speak improperly out of laziness, or lack of education. However most think that being a "tuff guy" will get their point across better than knowledge and education, Okay we get it, you could fight me and win but you still sound and look like a mongoloid.
2) Extremely prejudice people, the kind who think all people wearing scarves are terrorist and that every black man in baggy pants and nikes is going to rob them. Get real, get with it, Kindness is universal. If you're nice to people they will be the same to you.
3) Seeing the people around me go no where, now this is not regarding everyone around me, but a select few. It's so sad and pathetic watching people older than myself, or even my age do nothing because they have lame excuses and a poor habit to part take in.
4)My job, I'm sorry but I know everyone hates their jobs so you can sympathize with me when I say I hate hate hate it. It's not even the job itself I hate, because I love waitressing. I just guess I dislike the fact its the same shit a different day with that place. Constantly have to feel inferior to male cooks who not only are rude, but sometimes creepy towards you. Mind you working with about 15 other women doesn't make a job any easier. So constantly stuck between a rock and a hard place.
5)Favorites, I hate when people play this card, which they do just about uhhh DAILY! Seriously, what happen to everyone being created equal, thats right! This is the 21st century, you're only equal if you have 4G.
5) I hate the holidays, all it does is make me think about missing loved ones. Which is just the last thing I wanna do. So I guess I'll work em' all. I hate just about everything, everyday BUT, I am going to try and change that.
I'm gonna change my mind, get in the right mind and get feelin' right. Positivity makes progress.

The broke, or broken...

You know what? I'm gonna give you a mental image of where all this is coming from. It's coming from the mouth of an open-minded, lazy, hard on themself, white, female, who believes more in her own sex than the opposition, hard working, stressed out, out of her mind, broke college student. I say all of this while eating a plate of luke warm pizza rolls, and a cold glass of Red indistinct flavored Kool-aid; complements of one of my roomies, Mizz Jay. What I'm trying to say is this, even if my words seem like BS, or meaningful. If maybe they seem like I have some intelligence or very little, I'm no different than the other billions of people in the world. All the millions of college students with opinions and arguments, we are one in the same, some smarter, some not as much. However we all share similar issues, similar troubles or problems we encounter in life. So why is it so hard for us to come together and see eye to eye as humans? The more I understand about other cultures, the more I begin to become a stranger to my own. Sometimes the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side, it's just the other side sometimes doesn't even have grass,the grass is the last thing on their minds....okay obviously this may not make sense to you. But to me, it makes perfect sense. These are just words and thoughts of a broke student, so I'm gonna enjoy my ghetto fabulous lunch, adios.

Situations

I've noticed lately that a lot of people, mostly people in my immediate circle of close friends and family all kind of complain about the same things. Whether it be, money, health, school, work, etc. it's always the same feelings towards the same situations. Then last night I realized, we all do it, we all complain about every detail of our lives or maybe just one not being slightly the way we hoped or imagined it to be. It's kind of funny how much we envy others for the things they have or the thing they do not have to do. However, if you actually remove your feelings from the complaint you start to see that, it's not just you, it's everyone...we all go through these phases where maybe our bosses don't treat us the way they treat other co workers or maybe our parents don't help us out as much as we'd like them to, or even as much as they help our siblings. Hell, maybe it might even be that you don't understand why you're single or why you're in some sort of abusive relationship. No matter what the area or complaint might be, one thing is true for all of this, yeah it may suck to be you right now. However, there are other people out in the world that feel envious of you because of something you have and they don't or the way you're treated and they aren't. Point blank, no one has it good, and as much as you are hurting, there are a million other people who have it worse than you, and being grateful for all you have, doesn't necessarily mean that you need to see everything as a positive even when it's not. It more so means, realizing you've got SOMETHING that others would kill to have, and all the other things you do not have that others do, that stuff will all come in time. So be grateful for all you are and all you are not.

This is all

I am so fed up with people and the morals they lack. See, everyone walks around complaining about all the wrongs done to them and then they turn around and wrong others. What's the point? You get what you put into the world. So yeah, if you cheat on girls all the time and then want a respectable girlfriend in the aftermath, IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. That's just one of many examples I can throw out there for ya. I can understand if you're an upstanding citizen and the world constantly pushes you down, even after doing good to and for others. However, 95% of the time, this isn't the case, it's the former, not the latter.
You have to have some type of morals, or else you're going to constantly be hit with a big sack of bad luck. I truly believe the problem with the communities around this area is, everyone expects to live a life of "partying" and "fun" (which also translates into irresponsibility) then they expect that life is going to work out perfectly and they will get everything they wish for. SIKE, this is the real world, not some dream land where you make everything possible. I'm not saying having everything you wish for and want isn't possible, but it definitely is not achieved through immaturity, waiting around for a party, or lack of respect/care for others. In fact, you get a lot more out of life when you help others get to the top. We all would much rather sit around and talk not only about others, but then about ourselves hoping a pity party can save us, news flash; it's not going to happen.
Almost everyone I've ever met in this area of Michigan has not only been somewhat of a Debbie downer, but also have said a lot more about others than they do about their own mistakes or imperfections. Which, in turn, says a lot more about them than the person they have previously discussed. In conclusion, stop doing bad things to others and after hoping something great will happen for you. I guess, point blank, everyone is more concerned about ME, rather than WE.

I'm not drowning, and I don't need your life jacket.

Everyone needs a savior, whether it be in superhero form, higher power, or human. People get stuck in a bind and they search the grounds for someone to carry them out of their situation to salvation. As nice as it would be, for everytime I had a problem to have another person pick up the pieces and sweep all my problems under a rug, that's just never the way things work out for me. Ever since I can remember I have been my own prince charming, I have been holding my own fort and battling life with no one by my side. This on going problem of thinking someone is going to come to our rescue everytime the "shit" hits the fan, it's so unrealistic. I used to look to my parent's to save my younger self, but that is not even the case anymore. I try my hardest to rely on very few for anything, because if you are your own savior, you don't need to be in debt or feel guilty towards anything, or anyone. Sometimes things get bad, sometimes things feel like they are going to fall apart, but I've learned to be my own glue to hold all of my life together. So if I can, you can...always. Be your own helping hand, instead of waiting for a hand to come along, cause one day, you're gonna be waiting forever for a limb that won't be thrown your way. I'm not drowning, I'm not down and out, I am just a little lost, give me some time...I can figure everything out.

Ma Famille.

Wellll, my sister, big mama the dog and Dad's hand.

Being alone and being lonely are two separate things.

I have come to realize something in most recent weeks, not only about myself but about people in general. I guess when you work as much as I do and everything, you spend a lot more time inside your head than living in the moment of time, so therefore, I think way too much.
I spend a good 80% of my daily life alone, now I say alone with no connotation of sorrow or emptiness. I am very much so happy with things for the time being and life as is, I enjoy the peaceful state of being on my own a lot of the time. Even though most people don't like to spend time by themselves and would much rather have a companion or friend around, I'm okay with the complete opposite of this. I wanna say that I feel even the least bit sad by this truth, but I am not, I am just glad to have the opportunity to be a stronger individual than most people are.
The thing is, we spend a good amount of our time chasing some odd goals we set up for ourselves. As though the world would crumble if we don't have certain material things or people in our lives, it's like a constant competition to see who has what and what will measure up to be the greatest story of all time. Life is not a game, it is not some thing that you can win or anything. Even the people with loads of money and a great career didn't win anything, they just worked harder than most, or got a lucky break and now they just gotta ride out the storm of this crazy world till it comes to an end. My point is, no matter what, you're not going to get some great prize for following the social norm and doing what you "think" is expected of you.
Anyways, happiness doesn't come with a group of friends, or a stunning significant other, it doesn't even come with a large sum of money. All of these things are of only a temporary happiness, almost like drug abusers, they think the drug makes them happy but it is only the chase of the high that makes them feel the slightest bit of joy. I'm not sure about everyone else around here, or there, or anywhere-but I am happy, even when I say I'm not, I'm happy for what I do and do not have in my life. I know for a fact with everything in me, having a great circle of friends is nice, but they will change as will I and they will be gone. I know that yeah, maybe having a relationship would be nice and the whole "falling in love" thing may make me happy, but I prefer to stick with what I know, telling myself a bunch of lies will not suffice. Being alone doesn't actually mean a life of misery and all of the terrible things people make it out to be...it just means not having a plethora of people around clouding your judgment, and your thoughts. I have what I need, and that is me, myself, and I. Now don't get me wrong, I love my family and all the other amazing people I have in my life, hell I live with 3 of my good friends and I enjoy pretty much every second of it, but the truth of the matter is, we all came into this world and we go out of this world completely and utterly...alone. So being alone is not the same as being lonely, at least you can never lose something that you never had, or rather some one.