Ever since I have returned from this road trip I have been feeling empty, but not like an empty of sorrow and what not. Empty like there is literally nothing inside me anymore, no care, no heart, no brain, no feelings, etc. So I have just been working on my art for my portfolio, and even this isn't seeming to make me feel different, or better if you will. All I can think about lately is all my worries, thats it. Then after worrying about the bigger picture, I start worrying about details of it. I really feel as though I am losing my mind, nothing seems conventional to me.
This could have something to do with me constantly being the listener to everyone far and in between. Whether or not it be true, I feel like no one really cares in regards to anything having to do with me. I mean yes, I do have a great family and phenomenal friends and they allll help me out with a lot of things. However, as much as they DO for me, I always find myself with no one to truly converse with about all the stress that is just weighing me down like a prisoner with a ball and chain on every limb.
I don't mean to seem emo, or like the victim, this isn't a WOE IS SHELBY post. This is a....I'm losing my mind and no one really understands or gets me, kinda post. I guess i'm just gonna write this off as me being "weird", I'd rather spend my time staring at the walls now-a-days. I need to find something to fill me with renewal and to fortify my soul. I would really like something, anything, to work out in my favor for once. Here's to hope, and trying not to lose all of it.
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