I say this openly, because dislike isn't as strong of a word as hate. I cannot speak for everyone but I know for myself; as of late, I've had this strong wave of passion towards those I dislike. See for the past 8 months I've done quite an impressive job combating my evil thoughts towards those I dislike, with blessings. For example, the people who do not say 'thank you' when I hold the door for them. I think "I hope they learn manners", opposed to thinking "Wow that lady is a real rude-@$$" (pardon my french). Or the old couple I waited on last week telling me "Your tattoos make you unlady like, how will you ever get married..." and continuing on bashing, or rather out right judging me. Instead of saying can you hurry up and eat before you hit 100 ya old jerk, I said "that may be your opinion but times are uh changin'". I can just feel my energy slowly creeping from being full of kindness to being full of apathy and minor disgust for those around. Sometimes feeling as though even my own friends may be just another ungrateful woman I hold the door for, or that rude man judging me with each new piece of art I get on my body. I don't understand the logic, so maybe one day someone could help me to grasp these concepts I am missing out on.
What is so hard about being kind? Being unbiased? Being non judgmental? The only time people want to help or be grateful is when it is convenient or they can afford it. Why? Just like, why is the only reason we help during the holidays? The only time we treat someone nicely only on their Birthdays? The motivation we get from these events should resonate all year round, but for whatever reason....it doesn't. It is because at the core of every human, is greed....selfishness. Granted people do "good deeds" but I have realized it is not for the sake of doing the right thing, but rather for the feeling.
Though I am feeling unappreciated and under-rated...I will continue to be thankful, grateful, and humble most of all. I am happy to have survived another week, day, month, and hopefully year! I just needed to vent before I changed my mindset. Have a great Tuesday!