Friday, January 29, 2010
I was inspired to make this entry thanks to a dear friend of mine, whom I have known since 7th grade. She is one of the nicest, brightest, beautiful people I have ever met. However, ever since I have known her she has put herself in awful relationships, almost as though she is compromising her happiness because she'd rather be in a relationship and miserable than alone and miserable. Her boyfriend now, seemed like a "great guy" but she found out he doesn't even tell other girls he has a girlfriend, and makes plans with other girls and does things he won't even take my friend, his girlfriend to do. Now, any normal person looking at this situation from a far can easily tell, this is a big RED FLAG.
I know I know, you're sitting there reading this thinking; "I don't care about your friends relationship issues", but I promise there is a point. I have met soooooooo many women and young ladies, of all ages, sizes, races, etc. that put themselves in relationships that they aren't happy with and in turn end in them being sorry and sad. Why? Why do girls do this to themselves? I guess as my friend said, she isn't a strong person. But see, all of you out there ARE strong, you're all strong enough to know what you want and not settle for ANYTHING less than that. You shouldn't have to settle, you shouldn't have to be the statistic.
If you didn't already know this, most men are dogs. They only care about themselves and their 'mini me', now I say most because there are the few diamonds in the rough that really do mean what they say and say what they mean, but it's a small percentage. As girls, we are emotional and vulnerable more than we are not. That's all well and good, but when you find out the boy you're madly all about is using you, stop acting shocked like you didn't see it coming. Our problem is, like my friend, we'd rather compromise than hold it out for what we truly deserve. You shouldn't though, because as empty as you feel without a boyfriend or a boy around at all, you're going to feel a lot more empty when you put your all into something that was never there in the first place. So ladies everywhere, stop, please just stop settling for a guy because he's easy on the eyes and says everything you want to hear....chances are, he doesn't mean any of it and would rather see you naked than see you untroubled. As I told my friend last night, the best person to love, is yourself. No one, is ever going to know you better than you do. No one is ever going to accept you more than you do. No one is ever going to love you, if you don't love yourself.
Also, about the art I posted in this entry, it's a painting I did last year in my painting class (go figure) and it's not perfect, AT ALL. It's actually quite terrible and not up to par. However I love it, I love the colors, I love the fact it's mortal kombat, I love the fact I made it and it is flawed, but great.
So all the women, girls, young ladies, etc out there, please don't compromise because you don't wanna be alone, because being alone is a whole hell of a lot better than crying and hanging out with Ben&Jerry, while you pet your cat and watch chick flicks. YOU ARE ABOVE THAT. You are above all the men who do not see you for the great person you truly are.
Monday, January 25, 2010
What a terrible phrase, an eye for an eye. Could you imagine if we lived in a world where people actually, fully acted on this phrase, like lived by it? OH, wait, we do live in a world where vengeance out weighs forgiveness. Sure, people do enough wrong that it's actually more practical to live a life of vengeance than forgiveness, but who ever said you had to formally punish all those who did wrong unto you? The word forgiveness is not used enough now a days, In my opinion, but it needs to be used more often. We use the words love and hate with such strong conviction daily, but never forgive, we never say "I forgive so and so for that time they did whatever to me". But we do usually say something along the lines of that statement, except with love or hate in placement of forgive. There are so many people in this world that I could say I "hate", with the heaviest heart, but I don't. See thats the thing, I don't hate those who have wronged me, I don't stay bitter and stand around with criss crossed arms complaining about the injustice I feel by life. And that's because it all boils down to one, single, tiny, little, minuscule thing, it's your choice. YES, that's it, just your choice, your choice to forgive or hold a heavy, cold heart.
I'm in no way pointing my finger down at you, from some high horse saying: "Forgive everyone for the wrongs they did, they aren't perfect and neither are you." No no, I include myself in everything I say, I am the same as you and vice versa, we're all made up of the same basic molecules. I am just trying to make you see, there are soo many people out in the world, tons upon tons of people just like you and I and everyone we know. That's millions of people. There are so many people in this world, that it will not hurt you to forgive the ones that just happened to maybe hoe you out last friday, y'know? So many people you could possibly hate; a lot more than that kid who back in 9th grade stole your girlfriend. So many scenarios, so many ways, so many chances...to forgive.
However, I am not saying that forgiving is the way to happiness and you should forgive everyone and just allow yourself to be the personal floor for all your friends to walk all over, NO DON'T DO THAT AT ALL. haha. Believe me, I forgive just about everyone, but it is for minor mistakes and small unsuitable quarrels. I do still have probably a hand full, just 5 people or less I will never forgive even if they walked up to me on fire, crying for forgiveness. Now, this doesn't make me a hypocrite because the wrongs that I have felt from these specific people go far deeper than any wounds I have ever felt. But my point is, don't forgive just anybody, obviously, it takes some looking at the situation and asking yourself, is this worth the anger? Is it worth the stress of avoidance and everything else? Most of the time, you will find that being pissed about whatever you are, isn't worth it and you will be a lot happier to say sorry and be able to shake that burden right off your shoulder.
Everything in your life comes down to one thing, you. You have the ability to be the happiest person in the world, or the most miserable person in the world. It all begins with your state of mind, so which do you wanna be today, and forever?
As Gandhi said "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind". And right he was, we are all on the verge of being blind, because we care more about seeing someone else drown than helping them learn to swim. Forgive someone this week, even if the reason is the smallest in the world, say the words "I forgive you...." and most importantly, truly mean them. You will realize, those friends you "miss so much" are only a call away and one line from being your friends again.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I say anti-everything openly, because we live in a world where everything is black or white. Well, not EVERYTHING per se, but most everything. We are all grouped into yays and nays, smokers and non smokers, lovers and fighters, etc. We are so obsessed with taking a stand and refusing to see the opposition of the issue, we close our minds to the other side of things. It's as though we live by some rule saying: if we don't recognize something, it can't exist in our system of belief. This is completely and utterly, untrue, and not to mention a horrid way of seeing things. The older I get, the more I realize how boring life is getting. Almost as though we live in an anti-fun society. But this is not the truth at all, this is merely my perception of aging. But you know what, I don't care. I do not care one bit how old I get, I refuse to stop having fun. I refuse to try my hardest to grow up, where's the fun in that? HAHA. There isn't any.
I have recently been feeling as though I am so many steps behind everyone I know. As though I am failing at this retched game of life, but now I realize...I'm not. I am on the path that is right for me, and me alone. Those who feel that they should wave their education in others faces, or money, or whatever in people's faces...they are the least mature. They are the ones who will pay dearly for their gloating pride that they carry like a billboard across their foreheads. I don't get it, I don't understand why so many people think their happiness will come with money, time, romance, education, etc. And if they are so "happy" about their lives, why do they feel the need to show it to others and seek approval? I guess it's human nature. But I don't think telling someone all that I have and making them see what they do not have will make me feel any better or less about it. If you have something, telling others about it will not make it any greater, it is still going to be $5,000 dollars if you tell someone you have it, it doesn't go up in value for every person you boast to, does it? No, so why do we gloat? Well because we want someone to pat us on the back and say, "yes all your hardwork or Daddy's good job has paid off". SO WHAT?
Our problem is, we're human, and as humans we want someone, anyone to make us feel like we're doing the RIGHT things. However, as long as what you have makes you feel good, don't rub it in others faces; that makes you look like a fool.
In conclusion, my point of the day is this....Stop searching for that approval from your family, friends, boyfriend, etc, seriously. Just take a step back and realize that everything you do is for you, no one else. If others think whatever you have or do is awesome, That's just a bonus. But I urge you, stop trying to live a rigid life of perfection in order to please someone else. Don't eliminate fun because you feel the need to grow up, half the fun of growing up is enjoying your life, for YOU. Today I want you to have fun, do one thing that you love doing even if people don't agree with it, do it for you. Because after all, everyone else is looking out for themselves, why shouldn't you?
Saturday, January 23, 2010
That is what my past two days have consisted of, which is why I haven't posted something since my prior post. Yesterday I spent a lot of time downtown, I went to the DIA with Chelsea and Micaela. I had a lot of fun and enjoyed the show and the good company. Then after that, I returned home and waited to go to my friend Katie's out in Detroit for a Birthday Party. It was also a very good time filled with a lot of different people and different company, but still it was a grand time. But this post is mainly dedicated to the fulfillment I feel today, I am almost finished reading my book on Buddhism, and tying it all together it makes perfect sense in my mind. I wish everyone could just read this book and see what I finally SEE. Tonight I decided, because ever since I was born I've never cooked on a stove top, I know how to make very few things, and prefer to cook every single thing in the microwave. But for some reason I'm tired of doing so, I wanna be able to cook for myself and be independent. So I made tonight, delicious rice and teriyaki noodles, they turned out very good and I'm quite proud of myself. I think I'm going to continue to hone this skill. I also am becoming skeptical about my intended major for college and if this art thing is really for me...Hmm. Well that's a whole other subject in its own.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
We all know of the common phrase "whatcha see is whatcha get". But most of the time, thats not the truth, especially when it comes to people. Actually, when it comes to a lot of things in this world, what you see is never what you get. An example, fast food...when you go to order it and you're checkin' out the menu, everything looks sooooo good. Then you get your food and it looks like someone sat on it, puked it up, etc etc. What you see, is rarely what you get, which is awful. It's a terrible thing that an image or a persons image is never what you get. It's like icebergs, the worst of everything is underneath the surface, it's hidden and waiting. We always hope and wish that a persons image will really add up to what they truly are behind closed doors, but the ugly truth of it is, no one, I repeat NO ONE, is ever going to turn out how you imagine. Because no one is going to be exactly how you wish or hope they would be. They are only going to be a human being, who is flawed and imperfect. If you can truly see things for what they are, you have a gift. This is the problem in the world; we all put our faith in some idea, image, religion, etc but really we need to be putting our faith in ourselves. There is no one on this earth or in this entire universe who is going to respect you, love you, take care of you, trust you, more than yourself, so quit trying to find that picture perfect significant other. So in order to avoid disappointment, see things, sights, art, life, people, etc for what they truly are....not for what you WANT them to be. Just like this picture, I tried to manipulate it into something better looking, but truth be told I took it on a beautiful summer day and the picture itself is as good as it gets, well maybe not. However for me, it's a beautiful picture and making it into something its not, takes away from it in everyway possible.
P.S. Tonight is my last night of smoking cigarettes, my father and I have made a bet, starting tomorrow morning. First one to smoke a cigarette owes the other one 50 bones. Lets hope neither of us loses. Haha.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
is it purely coincidence joined with preparation. I say this because I use the phrase "lucky" a lot. I use it when it comes to people telling me things they are doing that I wish I could be doing at the same time, but when I reevaluate what I am saying, I realize they aren't lucky they just happen to be doing what I want because they had the available resources to do so. There is no such thing as LUCK, it is an easy word to dismiss hard work and hard planning. Some people tell me I'm lucky for my talent, but I do see it as luck being the reason I can draw, I see it as talent that I have been interested in since I was about 7 years old.
Speaking of this "luck" thing, last night I did my first blind contour, not really my thing, but I had to try it out for kicks. I tried it out by doing a quick sketch of "Warwick" for the Hallway Show. It did not turn out perfectly as I would like, but hey...does anything? No, which is why I'm quite pleased with it, but then again I am always pleased with the art I produce, because it is from my own original mind, and no one can touch that.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I have a very different philosophy on life than most people, I try to see things in ways most people choose not to. Everything is based on choices; you choose to be angry, you choose to be friends with the people you dislike, you choose to be in a situation you may not like, etc. Everything you do is a choice, and blaming your circumstances on anyone but yourself is just ignorant. I'm so tired of so many people blaming others for their short comings and justifying it with some excuse, when really it's their own choices that got them where they are.
So I choose to see people, sights, life, art, etc. in my own way. I try my best to be the one to see the big picture, plus the small details. Like when it comes to people, most people won't give anyone they've heard "terrible" things about a fair shot. However, I enjoy giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and choose not to judge them for anything they may or may not have done in the past. People need to learn not to judge others on previous mistakes, because when it comes right down to it, we've all made a couple mistakes we'd rather consider lessons learned. So next time you hear something about someone, take it in, but look at it in a different view. You could see it as the person telling you these "wrongs" of another as their own choice to see that person in the light which they have actually reflected upon themselves.
I am straying away from my main concept, sorry. Anyways, when it comes to sights, and scenes we think just because we've seen something so many times it's not the same as the first glance we took. But everything, every single, little, sight is beautiful. I took this picture from my crappy but highly reliable cell phone. It's from the summer time and I just stumbled upon it today, it was taken at Heritage Park, wayyy in the back near the marshy areas. It looks a lot more beautiful than one would expect from a little marsh in the back of a Taylor park. But thats my whole point, when you simply see something from a different perspective, you can find the most amazing thing you've set eyes on. Life can be beautiful, if you just change the way you see EVERYTHING. Try it, you might be surprised how easily it comes to you.
Friday, January 15, 2010
So lately I have been meaning to draw for a night and get some more art on here. HOWEVER, I have been lacking creative motivation. It is so unfortunate, if you've ever experienced, I know you can agree. So last night after I spent some time in Ann Arbor I felt that maybe the motivation would come back to me. Sorry to say, it did not. Then at about 5AM I realized, it's got nothing to do with a feeling or anything of the sort, you have to push yourself, no one or thing or person is going to get the motivation going for you. So I just wrote in different fonts, and stuff to get my creativity on a page, everything I felt or thought I put on this paper, and it all intertwines in an odd way, which I did on purpose. Because art is a lot like life, everything and everyone intertwines in an odd way everyday. I have a lot on my mind, things about my future. Things about my friends and if some of them are truly worth the stress they cause to my life and my mind. And about life in general and how to stay positive even when all I wanna do is scream and yell at people and tell them what fools they are. Instead of yelling and releasing my anger which will only make any matter worse, I'm just gonna write out everything I'm thinking and feeling in different ways now. Because I just don't wanna be an angry person towards others anymore, that ship has long set sail. OH and I wanna say Congrats to my sister for getting some of her Robots into a Drawger show. I hope today is a good day, for myself and for all that stumble across my blog.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
If you do not know me, or have only met me once briefly, you wouldn't know that I can have quite the temper. I am what most would refer to as a 'hot head', I have never been very good with expressing my anger. I have always tried many ways to keep my wrath at bay, chain smoking, eating, counting back from 10, etc. But nothing ever seemed to help. Up until most recently when I became curious about the philosophy of Buddhism, I say philosophy because I see it as more of a philosophy rather than a religion. So I began researching it, and now am reading a book on it by Steve Hagen, called Buddhism: Plain and Simple. And just reading and looking into all this Buddhism stuff has already made me a less angry person. I know it sounds crazy, how can just reading a book make you less angry, right? But if you ever look into the wonderful art of Buddhism, you'll see it makes so much sense. It's all about karma, and doing good even when people aren't good to you. Because when it all comes down to it, we only walk this earth for some time, and it can be cut short at any moment, so we need to really be good, humble, helpful, nice people while we have the chance; So that one day we're not laying there on our death bed saying, "I wish I wouldn't have kept all those grudges and been so mean to so many people". Honestly, right now, think of all the fights and arguments you've been in. Now, how would you feel if that person you're so "mad" at died tomorrow? Would you really feel okay with the fact you never got to say sorry, that they went out thinking you "hated" them? I hope most of you answer No to that, because it's very true. Half the battles, wars, fights, arguments of our lives...they just aren't worth it. So I, Shelby, am turning over a new leaf, and I really find it working most the time. Instead of yelling at someone for lying to me or doing me wrong, I just say thats their choice, my choice is to stay in a good state of mind and not let their wrongs affect me.
Also, today I was thinking about this "smoking ban" thats coming into play on May 1st and I say BULLSHIT. Sure it's a great idea and second hand smoke is deadly, but what about all the accidents that happen from drunks? Why aren't they banning drinking in bars? OH thats right, cause the government gets more money off of it, my bad. However, because I'm highly P.O.'d
about this "ban" I made an event on Facebook for Michigan Smokers Day, the day before the ban I plan to smoke in every place I am able to smoke in, I'm going to chain smoke allllll day long, till my lungs turn black, because it's the one last day I can in most places. That all being said, Thanks for taking your time out to read and hopefully I'll have some art up tomorrow, I know I know, I'm really slackin'.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
A great quote from the end of the first Lord Of The Rings movie: The Fellowship Of The Ring. From a great wizard, most fans of the trilogy know as Gandalf. Most recently I have spent a great amount of time with my eldest sister, Chelsea Kirchoff. We are pretty much two peas in a pod, and spend a lot of our time watching and or reciting lines from the LOTR movies. This quote is one of the bigger ones that always sticks out at me, everytime I hear it. It just really speaks for us all, it's pretty much the answer to life, in my eyes. Why worry about what happens after life or what happened before our lives, it's all about enjoying and deciding ourselves; what to do with our time here on earth. Couldn't have said it better myself if I tried even my hardest, wise words from a wise wizard. So here is a quick charcoal sketch I did of the Wonderful Wizard, ENJOY.
Recently I finished a wonderful little picture, took me quite sometime because of the background but overall, it was well worth the time and effort put forth. I have found that I really enjoy doing pieces with color, I think that color is the best way to go. Mainly because black and white is just so boring; in my opinion. I mean don't get me wrong, I do love a good sketch with values in charcoal and or just pencil, But color is better to work with, better to blend, and just overall BETTER. Anyways, here is the great picture I can thank for the blister on my thumb:)