Take me to your super computer!

I can now mobile-blog, WHAAAAAT?! As if the internet and cellphones didn't make my life easier as is, (I reinstated my facebook already) but damn, mobile-blogging now too? DOWN! Probably as excited as I am because when I move I can just car blog, aka; the act of blogging while on a long car ride/ roadtrip. OH, I didn't tell my blog, I'm leaving in 36 days, give or take a day. I plan to move to Chester, Virginia with my roomie and bestfriend Katherine, or as you'll hear me refer to her as "Kiki". I was super excited, I mean actually I am still extremely excited, However; I will dearly miss quite a few people, but this is a vacation that not only have I been dreaming about and wanting desperately....but I need this vacation. I need a break away from all the hussle and bussle that is my life in Metro Detroit. I know people are the same everywhere, I know that I'm gonna get lonely, I know it's gonna be different, but who cares. I'm over others trying to change my mind on the matter, I have no idea how long I'll be gone for. For now, till July, possibly August. I just know the internet will make me feel a lot closer to those I love when I leave anyways. Hey, more time for me to blog and figure out some creative way of relating my ideas and sketches or just plain out figure out what I wanna do with the time I've been given.

A wise man once said...

"It is after all the greatest art to limit and isolate oneself."

So that is exactly what I am going to do. I just, literally, 5 minutes ago deleted my Facebook account and feel pretty good about it. I think i'll communicate my daily ideas on here. Who needs short status updates that do little but provoke me to insanity? I'm not sure why I even stuck with FB as long as I did, I guess it was an issue of entertainment, and then dependancy and now I just don't care anymore. I just don't care what the world has to say, nothing about facebook was beautiful or even slightly amusing to me. I guess creeping had become some sort of modern hobby. Either way, if I cannot change my world around me, I will cut it off from me. One step daily to a better, happier me. I can't change states now so everyday I'm gonna add one new thing to my daily routine or, change one habit for the better. Who knows what each day will bring? All that matters is every day is not the same.

DAY 1, deleted facebook profile; limit useless internet activities.

People=BS

This is my ode to all those assholes out there, yeah, you all know who you are. To those people we all have in our lives that would much rather use us for when everything fit their schedule; rather than, be good friends to us. All I know is, after these 4-5 months of living outside my families walls and being around very few people than I was before I can tell you with very strong conviction I think people are absolute bullshit. They do nothing but bring one another down, hurt eachother, and then they smile and pretend to be a good person. Fuck that! I cannot stand those who live by a do as I say not as I do mentality. I fully dislike so many people I once confused for friends....they all just suck.

Just saying.

There is no worse feeling than the feeling of not being good enough. We've all been there, that moment in time where your heart hits your stomach and you feel as though life is anything but fair. Better yet, we've all asked ourselves the infamous question of "why me"? Today I was confronted with the bitter feeling of not being quite good enough, not that it has never happened prior to this; however, this time I felt the impact severely. Automatically you reach for anger, you belittle the person or whatever made you feel the way you do, but when it comes down to it, things happen as they should. That's life, you get kicked when you're down and sometimes the ones we desperately want just don't feel the same. After all the excuses you give for the way someone behaves and all the times you find yourself waiting because you THINK it may change in time, you can't. At the end of the day the people who want to be in our lives prove that. They are there and will always be, while the one that aren't have made that choice apparent by their absence. A feeling is only a feeling till you let it get the best of you. This feeling has got a hold on me, and I can't get out.

I'm a psycho, wooooah.

This post was prompted from my late night mind flow, which is actually just a highly creative nick name for insomnia. So lately I've been thinking, I need to create more ideas, which leads me to my new found idea...I want to give up on hate, saying it, using it, thinking it, anything having to do with it. So in this post I'm letting out all the hate I can think of and then no longer using the word and thus not giving the emotion a label, listen it's just a good idea. Now this list or rather rant, will be short, I'm sure I could sit and think for hours about what I "hate" but that feels like a pointless venture, so i'll keep it short and sweet.
Five things I absolutely HATE:
1) Ignorant people, people who speak improperly out of laziness, or lack of education. However most think that being a "tuff guy" will get their point across better than knowledge and education, Okay we get it, you could fight me and win but you still sound and look like a mongoloid.
2) Extremely prejudice people, the kind who think all people wearing scarves are terrorist and that every black man in baggy pants and nikes is going to rob them. Get real, get with it, Kindness is universal. If you're nice to people they will be the same to you.
3) Seeing the people around me go no where, now this is not regarding everyone around me, but a select few. It's so sad and pathetic watching people older than myself, or even my age do nothing because they have lame excuses and a poor habit to part take in.
4)My job, I'm sorry but I know everyone hates their jobs so you can sympathize with me when I say I hate hate hate it. It's not even the job itself I hate, because I love waitressing. I just guess I dislike the fact its the same shit a different day with that place. Constantly have to feel inferior to male cooks who not only are rude, but sometimes creepy towards you. Mind you working with about 15 other women doesn't make a job any easier. So constantly stuck between a rock and a hard place.
5)Favorites, I hate when people play this card, which they do just about uhhh DAILY! Seriously, what happen to everyone being created equal, thats right! This is the 21st century, you're only equal if you have 4G.
5) I hate the holidays, all it does is make me think about missing loved ones. Which is just the last thing I wanna do. So I guess I'll work em' all. I hate just about everything, everyday BUT, I am going to try and change that.
I'm gonna change my mind, get in the right mind and get feelin' right. Positivity makes progress.

The broke, or broken...

You know what? I'm gonna give you a mental image of where all this is coming from. It's coming from the mouth of an open-minded, lazy, hard on themself, white, female, who believes more in her own sex than the opposition, hard working, stressed out, out of her mind, broke college student. I say all of this while eating a plate of luke warm pizza rolls, and a cold glass of Red indistinct flavored Kool-aid; complements of one of my roomies, Mizz Jay. What I'm trying to say is this, even if my words seem like BS, or meaningful. If maybe they seem like I have some intelligence or very little, I'm no different than the other billions of people in the world. All the millions of college students with opinions and arguments, we are one in the same, some smarter, some not as much. However we all share similar issues, similar troubles or problems we encounter in life. So why is it so hard for us to come together and see eye to eye as humans? The more I understand about other cultures, the more I begin to become a stranger to my own. Sometimes the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side, it's just the other side sometimes doesn't even have grass,the grass is the last thing on their minds....okay obviously this may not make sense to you. But to me, it makes perfect sense. These are just words and thoughts of a broke student, so I'm gonna enjoy my ghetto fabulous lunch, adios.

Situations

I've noticed lately that a lot of people, mostly people in my immediate circle of close friends and family all kind of complain about the same things. Whether it be, money, health, school, work, etc. it's always the same feelings towards the same situations. Then last night I realized, we all do it, we all complain about every detail of our lives or maybe just one not being slightly the way we hoped or imagined it to be. It's kind of funny how much we envy others for the things they have or the thing they do not have to do. However, if you actually remove your feelings from the complaint you start to see that, it's not just you, it's everyone...we all go through these phases where maybe our bosses don't treat us the way they treat other co workers or maybe our parents don't help us out as much as we'd like them to, or even as much as they help our siblings. Hell, maybe it might even be that you don't understand why you're single or why you're in some sort of abusive relationship. No matter what the area or complaint might be, one thing is true for all of this, yeah it may suck to be you right now. However, there are other people out in the world that feel envious of you because of something you have and they don't or the way you're treated and they aren't. Point blank, no one has it good, and as much as you are hurting, there are a million other people who have it worse than you, and being grateful for all you have, doesn't necessarily mean that you need to see everything as a positive even when it's not. It more so means, realizing you've got SOMETHING that others would kill to have, and all the other things you do not have that others do, that stuff will all come in time. So be grateful for all you are and all you are not.